Scratch that last post.

Ya…that detox lasted all of 2 days. I was craving meat way to freaking much. I started turning into some maniac. Pretty much running around sniffing the garbage can for scraps of meat.  O.K. not really, but I did have a horrible food dream the FIRST night.

So the story pretty much goes like this.  (Story meaning before Dream) I started the day good; 2 diet pills in the am (roughly 8:30am), had a thing of grapes which held me over until 12 o’clock-ish. Then at lunch I went and bought a morning Star Spicy Veggie Patty thing-a-ma-bob. It wasn’t bad, good actually. When I got back to the office I nuked the patty and cut up some cucumbers and other veggie crap. Ate it, drank LOTS OF WATER. God I can’t even count how many time I had to go to the bathroom to take a twinkle. Anyway got home had some fish about 6pm and nothing . Bedtime around 11pm. Was I hungry? HELL TO THE YES! Did I eat anything before bed. No. Anyway, I had a dream that I was munching on some potato chips. Not just a few, but full on face in bag shoveling the salty goodness into my mouth even though there isn’t any room in there type of deal. I was so in a trance of eating those chips that my mom walked in on me and I was scared. Scared as a boy might be if his mother walked in on him during a private masturbation moment in the bathroom.  I looked at her, in fear, crying, trying to talk but all that came out was crumbs from the chips. At that moment, I woke up. Ashamed of my own dream. I felt dirty. Unsatisfied. Mainly because I had an empty tummy. But I was on to day to of this “detox” bullshit.

The 2nd day pretty much was the same. Only for dinner I had a little pasta with diced tomatoes onions, and snap peas. It was good, but I was staring at the nice slab of dead cow in the pan. But I didn’t eat it. I was proud of myself. However, as I was laying in my bed, I started having food thoughts. I wanted to lose weight faster, but I needed protein, BUT i didn’t want to eat meat. So I decided to only eat a little chicken, like once a week, no red meat, bacon….very very little, mostly seafood and mostly veggies and fruit. I decided I would eat no sugar…well candy and desserts. Can’t help the sugar in fruit.

So yes, my ass is mostly vegetarian now. is it easier YES because I am not on this crazy ass restriction of food like in the detox. Just better to change what you eat instead of restricting you on basically everything.

So message to all—-DON’T DO A DETOX…you will crash and burn once you are off it. Unless you have some wicked will power that the majority of American’s do not have, then hey have at it. But for the rest of us jiggly ass people, change what you eat. If you cheat one day, screw it and get back on that wagon for hefty people.  Don’t worry you won’t break it, it’s tailor made for us American’s.

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